Most of these are irrational. I know. There's no need to point that out to me.
I'll update this occasionally.
joist - I don't know what it means. But it sure sounds stupid. Of course, I know joists play vital roles in building houses and other similar structures. It's too bad they have a stupid name.
batten down the hatches - That just sounds dumb. Why don't we ever "batten" anything else? Are hatches the only things that are battenable? Can we cotton batten down the hatches? Why can't we batten up the hatches? Can't we just lock the hatches? Or secure them?
drove - I know this means "large crowd of livestock or people". Still, people are always "coming out" in them. I think a gay band, such as Hidden Cameras, should have a song or album called "Coming out in Droves". Why isn't there "drove management"? Why don't people ever gather in large droves? Do droves roar?
tankini - Come on now. That's just ridiculous. Of course, so is the fashion industry. Enough said. Except that it's usually really stupid to combine words in that way.
TMI (too much information) - It's not the phrase I hate; it's the sentiment it expresses. It shows that the speaker has no sense of social flow, no sense of the dynamics of a conversation. An awkward pause usually follows this phrase.
It also shows that the speaker has no sensitivity to his or her fellow humans. It says "I don't care about how you feel or what you've been through. My social awkwardness is more important and more legitimate than your experiences." If you have any tact, decency, respect, or self-respect at all, you don't use this phrase.
slat - This just sounds awful. Isn't there better alternative? "Board"?
26 November, 2007
08 November, 2007
More language shifting
There are a number of great new inventions in Time Magazine's latest "Best Inventions of 2007" issue. (Wouldn't it suck to invent something totally rad in December? Damn, no appearance in Time for you, my clever friend.)
One little blurb says that a new building has "windows manned by computer". Sorry, but shouldn't a man be manning something? I mean, the use of the word man in that way is already sexist enough to offend me, but to have a computer man things? Hey, if they meant that a person controls the windows via a computer, they should have said that.
So why can man be a verb, but woman can't? Hey? That's right. Sexism.
Seriously, I know language evolves and all that. But a computer manning things just seems wrong.
One little blurb says that a new building has "windows manned by computer". Sorry, but shouldn't a man be manning something? I mean, the use of the word man in that way is already sexist enough to offend me, but to have a computer man things? Hey, if they meant that a person controls the windows via a computer, they should have said that.
So why can man be a verb, but woman can't? Hey? That's right. Sexism.
Seriously, I know language evolves and all that. But a computer manning things just seems wrong.
06 November, 2007
DJ Pet Peeves
Here are some recommendations from a radio DJ to recording artists:
Don't have music play automatically when someone navigates to your webpage. Yes, that includes MySpace. Some DJs play music directly from a computer to the airwaves. Thus, if we want to check out your website while a song is playing (usually to find out where you're from), your music comes in over top of the song we're playing, and everybody loses. Especially you, because now the DJ is mad at you.
When you send a cd to a radio station for airplay, make sure the cd package itself clearly indicates where you're from. Even though we're now supposedly in the "global village" that the multi-national media conglomerates have taken over and made "borderless" (that is, American), people like to know where the artist they're hearing comes from. Also, the CRTC insists that radio stations play 35% Canadian content. So if you're from Canada, and your cd clearly says where you're from, you're more likely to be played.
On your cd cover/jacket, don't make the text so artsie that it's illegible. That will make you less likely to be played and more likely to sound like you're a pretentious "indie" art-band who's more concerned with being creative than with making any sense to people hearing or reading you.
On your promo cd, indicate which tracks have "explicit language" on them. (I call that "swear words".) Again, a DJ will dislike you if he or she plays your cd and you swear on air.
Clearly indicate on your cd which is the artist name and which is the album name, on the spine and the cover. In these free-for-all 21st century days, it could very frequently go either way.
Thanks for helping DJs by helping yourself.
Don't have music play automatically when someone navigates to your webpage. Yes, that includes MySpace. Some DJs play music directly from a computer to the airwaves. Thus, if we want to check out your website while a song is playing (usually to find out where you're from), your music comes in over top of the song we're playing, and everybody loses. Especially you, because now the DJ is mad at you.
When you send a cd to a radio station for airplay, make sure the cd package itself clearly indicates where you're from. Even though we're now supposedly in the "global village" that the multi-national media conglomerates have taken over and made "borderless" (that is, American), people like to know where the artist they're hearing comes from. Also, the CRTC insists that radio stations play 35% Canadian content. So if you're from Canada, and your cd clearly says where you're from, you're more likely to be played.
On your cd cover/jacket, don't make the text so artsie that it's illegible. That will make you less likely to be played and more likely to sound like you're a pretentious "indie" art-band who's more concerned with being creative than with making any sense to people hearing or reading you.
On your promo cd, indicate which tracks have "explicit language" on them. (I call that "swear words".) Again, a DJ will dislike you if he or she plays your cd and you swear on air.
Clearly indicate on your cd which is the artist name and which is the album name, on the spine and the cover. In these free-for-all 21st century days, it could very frequently go either way.
Thanks for helping DJs by helping yourself.
Winter safety
We had a snowfall on Sunday. That day, I ran some errands, not using my car. There were patches of ice on sidewalks. Some of this ice was due to people putting chemical ice-melting products (such as salt) on the sidewalk.
Please don't put such products on snow. They melt the snow into water, then after the chemical has been diluted or used up, the water freezes into ice. Ice is more dangerous than snow.
Sure, such chemicals are good for loosening ice so you can shovel or chip it away. They're even good for loosening very hard-packed snow that you can subsequently shovel off of the sidewalk.
Such chemicals are very unsafe when people use them as a substitute for shoveling.
To summarize: if you're going to put salt or some other substance on sidewalks to melt snow or ice, you must shovel afterwards, or you risk creating even more ice.
Thank you.
This message is brought to you by the do-you-want-me-to-crack-my-skull-open-on-YOUR-sidewalk coalition of Edmonton
Please don't put such products on snow. They melt the snow into water, then after the chemical has been diluted or used up, the water freezes into ice. Ice is more dangerous than snow.
Sure, such chemicals are good for loosening ice so you can shovel or chip it away. They're even good for loosening very hard-packed snow that you can subsequently shovel off of the sidewalk.
Such chemicals are very unsafe when people use them as a substitute for shoveling.
To summarize: if you're going to put salt or some other substance on sidewalks to melt snow or ice, you must shovel afterwards, or you risk creating even more ice.
Thank you.
This message is brought to you by the do-you-want-me-to-crack-my-skull-open-on-YOUR-sidewalk coalition of Edmonton
05 November, 2007
Word tip
The word is "specialty", not "speciality". Thus, you pronounce it "special tea", and not spess-ee-al-it-tea or spesh-ee-al-it-tea.
I judge people who don't judge people for using poor grammar
Welcome to my inaugural blog here at Blogger.
Many of you may know that I teach writing and I edit documents for a living. So I feel I should warn you: this blog is likely to contain typos. K? K. If that bothers you, we can have editing bet. Who ever edits the best wins. You can set the amount of money you want to wager. I"ll agree to it automatically, because I'll win. You elitist wanker.
Something fun:
1) Log in to Facebook.
2) in the search box at the top left, search for "I judge people who use poor grammar."
The first group that turns up has more than 200,000 members. But the real fun is in perusing the six pages of other groups' names that turn up. Hilarity!
It's really amazing how worked up people can get on the internet. One group name calls those who judge users of poor grammar "elitist wankers". Like, dude. Relax. Go smoke a bowl. Or, if you're already a smoker of the electric lettuce, it ain't workin' for ya. Maybe I am elitist. What's in it for you in taking the time and energy to tell me so? Seriously. Weird. I wonder if this guy experienced childhood trauma when a bunch of geeks bullied him in junior high school, mercilessly taunting him for his misspelling of "their". Likely story.
Many of you may know that I teach writing and I edit documents for a living. So I feel I should warn you: this blog is likely to contain typos. K? K. If that bothers you, we can have editing bet. Who ever edits the best wins. You can set the amount of money you want to wager. I"ll agree to it automatically, because I'll win. You elitist wanker.
Something fun:
1) Log in to Facebook.
2) in the search box at the top left, search for "I judge people who use poor grammar."
The first group that turns up has more than 200,000 members. But the real fun is in perusing the six pages of other groups' names that turn up. Hilarity!
It's really amazing how worked up people can get on the internet. One group name calls those who judge users of poor grammar "elitist wankers". Like, dude. Relax. Go smoke a bowl. Or, if you're already a smoker of the electric lettuce, it ain't workin' for ya. Maybe I am elitist. What's in it for you in taking the time and energy to tell me so? Seriously. Weird. I wonder if this guy experienced childhood trauma when a bunch of geeks bullied him in junior high school, mercilessly taunting him for his misspelling of "their". Likely story.
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